The following is one step ahead during the phase of checking understanding. A common pitfall for me is when I ask ‘Do I make sense?’ or ‘Do you agree?’ or ‘Am I being clear?’ etc. Recall moments when at your team meets you do the same thing. Now that’s a fine approach to checking with your audience, but there indeed is a better way to elicit a response and a conversation…(read on). The following extract has been picked from ‘Difficult Conversations’ – written by Douglas Stone

A common tendency is to ask for agreement, perhaps because it’sreassuring: “Does that make sense?” “Wouldn’t you agree?” But askingthe other person how they see it differently is more helpful. If youask for agreement, people may be reluctant to share their doubts andreservations. They aren’t sure whether you really want to hear them.They say, “Yes, I suppose so,” but you don’t know whether they’re actuallythinking, “Yes, in a limited, warped kind of way that’s just like you.” If you ask explicitly for how they see it differently, you are morelikely to discover their true reaction. Then you can begin to have areal conversation.

The trick then to trigger a conversation with an audience is not to make the check for understanding close ended, but to make it volubly open to putting forth disagreements and not let the thoughts in their heads die out. Of course some of the thoughts might be irrelevant and you can smoothly disregard, but amongst them will be some that you had NEVER THOUGHT OF EARLIER. And that’s how I learn from my audience.